The scene is lovely. Two women, both glowing with the joy of a shared moment. There are details in the scene that charm: the smiles, the evident relaxation of those meetings of souls. Aunt and niece, bathed in sunlight, with no pretension beyond celebrating each other’s presence. There is no retouching and no filter: it is a domestic scene, recorded as a memory of good and beautiful moments.

Once posted, the photograph set off a cascade of negative remarks about the aunt’s appearance. Julia Roberts, in her mature loveliness, received merciless online lashings. How dare this icon grow older? How can she not be made up and ready for the illusory consumption of the big screen at all times?

How, after all, can she be so human? And happy! Whoever heard of such a thing? Shocked by the tsunami of hate, Julia was appalled at the effect that such demolitions of self-esteem can have on younger, and therefore more vulnerable, people. Already in her fifties, this special woman, known for her self-awareness, for protecting her family and for being a loyal friend, felt the violent impact. And she went public to express her shock and concern.

The episode sheds light on two aspects of our current life: digital networks and the need to conform to pseudo-aesthetic standards of beauty and age.

As for the virtual world, it seems essential to me that each of us reflect and act to, if not neutralize, at least mitigate such a harmful effect of our communication technology on ourselves and on the children and young people around us, including the children sheltered in adult bodies.

We humans are hiding from a real view of ourselves and others behind countless filters. Some are offered by the countless apps for virtual socializing; others, the most harmful, are generated by our own frame of reference.

Protected by these overlapping shields, humans feel comfortable shooting their poisoned arrows, with no concern for the impacts or traumas they cause. New targets appear at an accelerating speed, one after another, dehumanized by indifference and distance.

It is frightening to think that the network only amplifies behaviors and does not “invent” them. Something that often occurs to me is that these absurd attacks, setting aside pathologies, emerge from an inner stew with zero self-regard. The aggressions almost take on the function of a kind of revenge.

That same inner hell draws people into a world where they do not suffer the effects of passing time, where, at last, they are forever protected by layers of cosmetics or under degrees of intervention. A brave new world of the 21st century (forgive me, Aldous Huxley, not even you imagined how far we would go “naturally”).

The author of that admirable book imagined a society in which all beings, standardized genetically and psychologically and divided into castes, live without respect for individuality or singularity. Sound familiar? Frightening, isn’t it? The book, written in 1932, anticipated much of the cultural stew that surrounds us in this fragile here and now.

The passing of time, with its extraordinary signs, from the wrinkling of the skin to choices at a less frenetic pace, is rejected loudly and clearly in angry posts on the digital network.

Difference (in size, color, texture, posture, desires, relationship contracts and so many other nuances) is fought in text and voice, in the absurd attempt to box people into “acceptable” shapes. Fear? Haste? Anger? Revenge? Boredom? At times I want to ask: why?

What leads a handful of human beings to torment a person with a “you’re ugly!” said in different ways? What is the point of this destroying and moving on? What could be done instead? Why use such a fantastic tool for communication and learning in such a fragmented way? No, I have no hope of getting coherent answers.

Although my stock of hope is robust, I think I prefer to use it as fuel to draw the attention of children, young people and adults to other beauties that exist and happen outside the frenzy of the networks (and even on the networks! There are beauties there too!).

I want to apply my fuel to sharing proposals and co-building solutions that can offer a fuller life to those who are very, very, very far from socially accepted forms. Or to supporting journeys of self-validation, self-recognition, self-appreciation and self-qualification.

If I validate, recognize, value and qualify myself, I will know the importance of doing the same with my earthling partners. If I identify and heal the pain of the different deaths caused by exclusion, I will not be a weapon to keep anyone from belonging. Nor will I hide behind distance and the virtual layers of protection.

Julia Roberts is, as she was, a beautiful woman. She keeps a light, intimate relationship with her family and friends. She follows her personal and professional journey step by step. The patches of sunlight that surround the photograph symbolize light, lucidity, presence and love. Love that nourishes. The two women had a special way of spending their time. Sharing light may be a way out.