Psychological distance is defined as “the perceived closeness (and distance), and the clarity in the relationship, between the participants of a multi-cornered contract” (our translation). It is a subjective experience lived by the parties, which can be healthy or unhealthy.

When healthy, especially in three-cornered contracts, there is balance among all parties, with clear expectations and roles well defined by consensus. On the other hand, when unhealthy, the distance becomes unequal for at least one of the parties, which can compromise the success of the intervention and favor Psychological Game behavior, both as cause and as effect of this imbalance.

As for me, the interest in uncovering the inspirations of the authors related to this idea led me to Nelly Micholt. She developed the concept of distance, then a teaching transactional analyst in the organizational and psychotherapy fields. According to her, transactional analysis (TA) transformed her deeply, leading her to incorporate the theory’s foundations into her work and to engage enthusiastically in spreading them.

Her simple, diagrammatic approach made it easier to understand events and phenomena I experienced in my personal and professional daily life. That discovery brought a meaningful connection with the concept of psychological distance and its relevance in contracting practice, as proposed by Eric Berne and deepened by Claude Steiner, the Gouldings, Fanita English and Julie Hay.

Clarity in drafting contracts, led by the Adult ego state of those involved, neutralizes parental impositions and replaces disqualifications with healthy dialogue. The three-cornered and multi-cornered versions of the contract, proposed by Fanita English and Julie Hay, broaden understanding of how much clear contracting optimizes time and reduces human effort in different contexts.

Consequences and interventions: Nelly’s compendium

Nelly details the consequences of different forms of unhealthy psychological distance and proposes effective interventions, offering a valuable compendium of suggestions for group facilitators.

One highlighted aspect is the balance among the corners of the contract, which influences the sense of belonging and can strengthen or fragment groups. Hidden agendas promote inclusion or exclusion, and also affect the senses of competence, identity and connection, essential for people’s full development.

Personal reflections

Contact with the concept of psychological distance prompts reflection on the importance of ensuring equal access to information among everyone involved, to minimize the negative effects of hidden agendas. Caring for the health of psychological distance can reduce opportunities for games, conflicts and ruptures.

The learning provided by concepts such as psychological distance cultivates deep respect for Nelly Micholt’s ability to make tangible something essential in human relationships. Her generosity and wisdom influenced students, supervisees and colleagues, present in the practices and inner dialogues of those touched by her ideas (even without direct contact).

Approaching contracts, whether in pairs, groups or other arrangements, requires considering psychological distance to promote healthy, productive relationships. Thus, even from a distance, Nelly Micholt’s trajectory is honored and her influence felt in everyday practice.