We take on the role of caregiver for other people in many ways: raising our children, looking after other children, caring for adults and older people who need special care, choosing a profession that involves care, or serving as a manager, among others.

When we care for others, we inevitably give up our time and energy, both emotional and physical. We make ourselves available to meet those people’s needs, which forces us to make countless small decisions. Those decisions, in turn, can lead us to neglect self-care.

My provocation concerns boundaries and the importance of self-care. It is crucial to be aware of how far we can go, what is really our responsibility and when caring for others turns into neglecting ourselves.

From my point of view, recognizing and setting boundaries is not simple, but it is necessary. These boundaries keep others from invading the territory of what we can do and make relationships healthier. For example, if someone tells us about a problem, our first reaction may be to try to solve it our way, not the way the person would like. In that case, asking “How can I help you with this?” or “Is there something specific you would like me to do?” may work better.

Requests we can fulfill may arise, but so may demands that are impossible to meet or that take more effort than we have. It is essential to adjust expectations and, faced with unfeasible requests, to look for a solution that satisfies both sides.

As for self-care: if we do not take care of ourselves, who will? To care for others, we need to be well, which requires attention to our basic needs. But how can we take care of ourselves in these circumstances?

A key aspect is having trusted people we can vent to and talk with, who help us keep our thinking focused on the present when making important decisions or solving problems. Having someone who supports us matters, especially in moments that demand mental clarity.

Another is recognizing what gives us pleasure and makes us happy, nourishing ourselves daily with those small pleasures that count as self-care, such as listening to music we like, taking in landscapes that delight us, tasting foods we enjoy, caring for our own bodies, taking a restorative bath and resting properly.

In addition, it is important to recognize that we cannot solve everything alone and that we can seek professional help, whether through psychotherapy, mentoring or medical appointments, which gives us more resources to face challenges.

There are many other actions that can help us stay whole; I stress that all reflection and action on this are essential. To be complete for others, we need to be complete for ourselves.