Today I chose to share with you something that is part of my daily battle with myself. Have you ever found yourself pressing yourself for impossible actions and results? Or for exceptional deliverables tied to abilities that may not be your strong suit? Have you ever caught yourself doing things and later realizing that act was so disconnected from yourself? This is about that...

It is about the pieces of ourselves we set aside to fit into someone else’s reality... It is about the moments when we cannot find ourselves, understand what makes us happy, what connects us to our own strengths and to the best in us.

Outside voices sometimes resonate with the perception we have of ourselves that we will be loved or accepted in a setting if we are good enough. The big question is: what is good enough? Because enough for me may differ from what is enough for someone else.

As I touch on this, I recall some common phrases we hear from childhood to adulthood, in different settings: “you only did your duty,” “you’re paid for this,” “you should have gotten a perfect score, all you do is study,” “we reached 90% of the result and should have reached 100%,” “you need to work on your weaknesses and your gaps”... and so on. They are the words of a well-meaning adult, with potential for damage. If the focus is on what is missing, on weakness, on failure, we will certainly not reach the result we expect.

It is impossible to be good and perfect at everything; pleasing everyone around us is an endless task that can lead to exhaustion and disconnection from ourselves. We do not deserve to break ourselves, to set aside our essence and our strengths to fit into the world of someone else’s expectations.

When we embrace our humanity, connect with what we are good at, acknowledge the small and big achievements, and identify where our success lies and what makes us stronger, we are able to deal with those inner (and outer) voices that tell us “it’s not good enough.”

With that in mind, I would like to invite you to a challenge: record every day, in whatever way helps you remember, all the good things you do, the small and big achievements, what you are good at, the areas of life in which people seek you out for support or an opinion, the challenges you managed to overcome, your purposes and dreams.

Thinking about these aspects helps us strengthen our connection with ourselves, to know where we are good and what moves us. The more we strengthen the view we have of ourselves in our inner dialogue, the less other people’s remarks will unsettle us, and we can build in ourselves the certainty that we are doing a good job handling every challenge we face each day.

I invite you to walk with me in this challenge of recognizing, every day, our strengths and the strengths of the people close to us. This movement can make a difference in our lives and our relationships. Instead of relating through what is missing or insufficient, we shift the focus to what we managed to do and to the next step, so we can keep reaching toward the best version of ourselves. Shall we go together?