Here I am, under the gray sky of Vila Izabel, on the last morning of the year. That “last” sounds a bit dramatic and, to set the scene, the chords of an adagio come out of my tiny speaker.

I cannot get to the reasons that connect me to the laments of adagios. At this exact moment, they seem to match the requiem of one more year going off to the world of mists. It is not the sadness of the end that occupies my mental condominium now; it is thinking about what is coming.

I try to escape ritualizations, but they ensnare me anyway. So I gave in to the charms of thinking about it. Since I need a little structure to stay on the path, I look around, and a book leaps from the shelf and sits here looking at me. I have read it on different occasions, from long waits to the pure desire to peek through the cracks of words: Ikigai, written by the Spaniards Héctor García and Francesc Miralles.

Published in thousands of social media posts, this Japanese concept seeks to answer the very human and very agonizing question: what is my reason for being? What makes my life worth living?

This book, delightful to read, moves through quite pragmatic aspects of Ikigai: meanings, applications in different places in Japan, very simple and light pointers on how to stay on course. The answer is not there. That one is mine.

The journey to find it is mine: looking inward and outward, understanding, choosing are my tasks. I can ask for help, I can talk it over, I can keep researching concepts, I can draw the diagram (and I did), I can theorize. But the encounter with the inner answer is a decision. My decision. I resolved to make it.

Considering the imperfection, the unpredictability and how ephemeral life and time are, expanding possibilities can be special. Defining the definable can help a great deal in coping with the imponderable.

Reason for being, meaning, purpose: these are terms used in different contexts. Ikigai gathers these and other expressions not in speeches or lectures but in chains of small experiences of being present in the present.

Curiously, the Venn diagram, of not very defined origin (but often attributed to Marc Winn), has the function of presenting elements of a set and their relationship. The chart, however, presented countless times as if it were Ikigai itself, is only the representation of the first film of dimensions that lie, one after another, toward greater depth.

Still, that film can be a first step, a primary outline for continued reflection. After all, giving meaning to one’s own existence presupposes finding small fragments, understanding them, making decisions and bringing them into routine practice. Decisions need nourishment to hold. Recording them is strategic.

The automatic wheel of living can swallow these purposes so efficiently that we do not even notice. So having these notes to consult now and then can bring me back to solid ground.

The Ikigai diagram charts routes so I can understand myself, what mobilizes me, what connects me to the world and what I do to survive: passion, mission, profession, vocation.

What do I love? What does the world need? What are my areas of competence? What can I be paid for? These questions seem simple. At this point in life, it is astonishing that I do not have all the answers ready and articulated, and I do not. There are some certainties that mobilize me and a larger number of doubts that hurl me into reflection.

Now and then, the great inner censor, that rigorous Parent ego state that dwells in my psyche, interrupts my thoughts. What? “Are you going to keep reflecting for a long time, Maku?” “The world is collapsing around you. Medieval absurdities keep happening, violence, intolerance, maneuvers, manipulations, power plays, and there you are, wrapped up in yourself, thinking?”

I ask for silence with a single argument: if I am not strengthened inside, with what structure will I do what I can do? If I am not sure of my path, I run a very big risk of bringing to the banner of my mission actions that represent my defense strategies, and not what actually needs to be done.

For now, still in disorder, I keep building resolutions from the first great premise of Ikigai: not stopping, staying active, getting in touch with the happiness of not being in inertia. Some not yet elaborated sparks continue, part of the patient investigation I have been making to find my Ikigai.

Identifying my reasons for experiencing belonging and mutual help, which means sharing moments and tasks with those who can accept me without conditions. Understanding that not all the groups I idealize being in are the ones I should be in.

• Caring for the bonds that unite me with people I hold dear, nurturing love, affection, attention. Renewing contracts, keeping the fields of coexistence flowing serenely;
• Creating and enjoying beauties, whatever they are, wherever they are, experimenting and keeping the ability to get in touch and the focus with awareness;
• Keeping the mind active, flexible and able to learn. Every day;
• Paying attention to my body’s signals and intentionally reducing uncontrolled thoughts;
• Keeping good humor, optimism and serenity in the face of needs, which are out there, always ready to take the stage.

And I go on with my journey. I want every moment of this new time, between this New Year’s Eve and the next, to be one of ample presence in the present.