One day, my daughters, thinking, enchanting women, asked me during a lunch, somewhat inquisitively, why they did not see me complain. The times were heavy that Sunday. People were quarreling over everything and over nothing, each group claiming for itself total ownership of absolute truth.

I could not answer immediately, because the question surprised me. In my mental condominium (as I call my inner dialogue), many vigorous debates occupied my attention. My central anguish was (and is) to understand what happened to the child, for them to arrive so maladjusted in the future, and what could happen so that angry adults could develop to the point of being able to take care of themselves and the community.

Alerted by them not to stay silent when there was a chance my voice could be heard, or when violence would not tolerate omission, I have reflected on what I can do.

It seems reasonable to me that someone who has not resolved their own issues and needs, or has them hidden from themselves, will hardly be available to look after the collective interest.

It seems reasonable to me that someone who has not resolved their own issues and needs, or has them hidden from themselves, will hardly be available to look after the collective interest. For both the perception of self and the perception of the other are organized as the child moves through their different stages of development. And collective awareness, fundamental for including the community in each person’s cone of attention, will be shaped little by little in the child’s relationship with their primary caregivers.

What will be the needs of a child that, if met, can support the developmental journey, from birth to adult life, and form the basis of political behavior guided by the ethic of symmetry, or OK-ness?

According to Aristotle:

“Every state is a community of some kind, and every community is established with a view to some good; for mankind always act in order to obtain that which they think good. But, if all communities aim at some good, the state or political community, which is the highest of all, and which embraces all the rest, aims at good in a greater degree than any other, and at the highest good” (Politics, 1252a, Jowett translation).

From the Aristotelian view, politics is a science whose purpose is human happiness, divided into ethics and politics proper. The concern of ethics is the individual’s happiness in the community-city (polis), and the essential concern of politics is collective happiness in the community-city.

For a person to have ethical and political availability, [...] they need to have their emotional nurturing and structure met, and self-esteem strengthened enough that they are not bound only by their own desires.

From my point of view, for a person to have ethical and political availability and to concern themselves with individual or collective happiness, they need to have their emotional nurturing and structure met, and a self-esteem strengthened to the point of not being bound only to their own desires.

Passing briefly through some stations of development, I look at simple tasks that can integrate the small developing being.

Still in the intrauterine environment, the baby captures visceral impressions of the mother and of the context she is in. Messages, thoughts and emotions give the tiny being the security to develop fully, feel welcome and be born. Also still in the intrauterine environment, aspects related to trusting or not settle into the baby’s memory.

Soon after birth, and until around six months, the child needs to be seen, welcomed, touched, receive consistent care. The repertoire of “being cared for” begins to settle in, resources that may, in the future, make up “caring for the other.”

From then until 18 months, the child explores the world around them. Curious, wide-eyed, they want to experiment. It is up to caregivers to offer safety and permission for exploration, so as to strengthen trust in the act of learning. It is OK to learn and try new things. The world is extraordinary!

From that point until age 3, the child develops the ability to think for themselves, to understand the connection between cause and effect. They are already able to dialogue about things, facts and people, of course, in their grammar still under construction. Caregivers are the privileged interlocutors, who can celebrate the new capacity for reasoning and provide time and space for the child to organize their thinking.

From ages 3 to 6, the child begins to establish individual identity, learns skills and discovers the role and power relations with others. Caregivers have some tasks, among others, such as allowing the child to express their feelings and connect feelings and thoughts. It is also the time to give information and correct misinformation, answer questions and share with the child the impacts and responsibilities of actions. These actions, dialogued, kind, without violence, are fundamental contributions to building the collective awareness of this developing being.

We could follow this reflection age by age, but I choose to stop at the end of childhood, up to the moment when the child’s circle of influence expands through numeracy and literacy.

And the most beautiful part is that, if they did not receive adequate assistance, the adult can “grow again,” taking care of themselves before intervening in the collective, or else preparing to intervene constructively in the polis.

If, up to here, the developing being receives attuned attention from people of importance, it is likely that, in adulthood, they will have resources to act in the polis, ethically and politically. And the most beautiful part is that, if they did not receive adequate assistance, the adult can “grow again,” taking care of themselves before intervening in the collective, or else preparing to intervene constructively in the polis.

I imagine we perhaps cannot make big, broad, universal movements. My ambition is small. If we cannot educate children for OK/OK political action, perhaps we can educate children to think and act constructively in their respective environments?