Thinking about my professional journey, I find myself, much of the time, sharing with my clients decisions that lead them to try new modus operandi.

The Latin expression modus operandi, translated literally, means “mode of operation.” It designates the way a given person works or acts, that is, their routines and processes of accomplishment.

I think that a way of doing, speaking, feeling, deciding and relating can change results or, at the very least, include a hidden result that adds power to life.

What is certain is that we reach adulthood with a collection of records and resources and a very particular way of using them to resolve life’s challenges.

Often, each of us has little or no awareness of the impacts of our respective modus operandi, because, having been a basis for survival at some point, it is incorporated into the multiple mechanisms for maintaining life.

When questioning the modus operandi, the most common reaction is resistance: “What about my essence?”, “What will happen if I do it differently?”, “I’ve always done it this way,” “It’s always been this way,” “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” “Changing takes a long time (I don’t have time)”...

Looking at today’s results with deliberate distance can bring an extraordinary possibility: visualizing the potential results that other modus operandi would yield.

I notice that the processes most present in development priorities lie in the fields of doing, feeling, communicating, relating, deciding and dealing with conflict. Each of these realms is established in the person’s behavior, with their respective modus operandi. So it is worth examining each of these flows, understanding cause and consequence and the impacts on the quality of concrete results and the relational results observed.

After this respectful analysis, a precious phase begins: thinking about how to do things differently. Knowing what needs to be known and trying what needs to be done happen at different paces for each person. Once the shock of discovery and the fear of change pass, experimenting gives breath to move forward.

At all times it is essential not to place the old modus operandi in a place of “error” or, worse still, of “guilt.” I need to remind the people with whom I have the honor of traveling the paths of development that we must honor what we have achieved with what we had. And also that we can look at expansion (starting from the known) as a portal to possibilities of full, conscious life. The known modus operandi is the point of departure (a double meaning here: a starting point and, at some moment in the future, a behavior to be “left behind”!).

The sparkle in the surprised eyes of a person who throws themselves into the journey is a glimpse of an inner child, often frozen somewhere in the past. The joy of trying and seeing different ways and their productive impacts happen feeds the will to keep doing. And it also sustains a different way of seeing oneself and the other.

The more a person believes in herself, with expanded self-confidence and self-esteem, the more she launches into respectful experiments. Sometimes tiny changes alter results substantially, especially in the dimensions of relationships and communication, two of the most complex phenomena of human existence.

These decisions may seem small when viewed objectively, but even tangible, concrete results improve with changes in ways of doing.

Parental figures can try including children in the world of small decisions and responsibilities of the family community, instead of insisting on the old mantra “Here I’m in charge; when you have your own house, you can be in charge!”

Leaders can devote development time to team members, escaping from “whoever can, commands; whoever has sense, obeys” and glimpsing a routine of shared responsibilities.

Teachers can validate the presence of all students and build with them a dialogic field in which the shared content expands everyone, including the one who teaches.

A friend can come close to another, respecting their pace and movements and, without judgment, establish a bridge of trust that both cross side by side...

So many possibilities...

“Dear modus operandi, I thank you for your safe and predictable company for so many years... We say goodbye here. I intend to try other modes, other tones, other sounds, other relationships. I thank you. You held up my insecurity for far too long. You were a known pillar of keeping the status quo. I thank you. I may become attached to new modus operandi, but I have learned independence. I have tried autonomy. I am doing fine on my own!”